Saturday, September 20, 2008

What does one do (think)?

I am so excited to be here, I love the action, I love the excitement of the city. I love the freedom and independence. I love the culture here, it is a great place to be. 

So why am I sad right now. I am not miserable enough yet to want to go home. But I miss people there so much. So much more than I would have ever thought. So much more than I can even explain. It is a feeling I cannot even explain to myself. Why did I let myself get so attached to some of those people when I new I would be leaving? Probably because I know they are truly great people and I love them. I would not trade what we had for anything. It was an absolutely amazing time, ever time. Thinking I will never find a group of friends like that is what makes me the most sad. I have some really good and genuine friends here, but they are much more sparse than the loved ones I have at home. 

I am too much of a people person for this right now. I love to be with people. It is impossible for me to have too much time around family and friends, they are so important to me. I want to see them so badly right now, but what do I do? I need to see them, I need to here from them, I need to be in contact with them, I want to know how they are and what they are doing. I get comfort in simply knowing they are all still well. 

Do not get me wrong, I like to be alone now and then and I don't expect my friends to be in constant contact with me. I know this not realistic and I know moving away was a good choice in the long-run. I couldn't keep living in that comfortable and protective (and loving) bubble my whole life. I needed to get out, be on my own and experience the world in a new way. 

But is sure is hard, having to do it alone a lot of the time. 

I am happy mostly, I love this place, I love the people I know here, but all people cycle, this is just a time of sadness. 

I will get better soon...right? 

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