Water.

This week has seen more tears on my face than ever before. some good, some bad and some for reason's I do not even know. 

Fashion.

When I see a great outfit, something chic, something classic, something edgy, I get excited. 

Seeing a person walk down the street in a amazing garment, makes them look so confident, they become confidence when the fabric is pulled over their body. I love that feeling. It makes me love that person.

Party-time.

I love to have a good time and being with friends my favourite thing to do. Anyone who knows me knows I love to be crazy and they also know I don't drink. You can guess nearly all my friends do and I have no problem with that. I never judge people for the choices they make, that is not my job. But what I do have a problem with is the assumption that in order to have fun one must be drunk. That is not the case and I prove it daily. If you want to have some drinks, get tipsy---get drunk, whatever, it is your choice and I am fine with that, but why is it that drinking is assumed? What bothers me is when people feel that there night will be ruined or hindered in some way, if the friends they are with decide not to drink that night. How does that work? I just feel like it is so expected of me, because of my age, it makes we want to do it even less. Do not make me fit the norm. 

Thomas is ...

...unsure what to think right now. 

Ready to burst into tears.

I have never felt like this before. What is the emotion even called? I want to cry, but I can't, I am about to be angry but I know that would just be stupid especially right now. I am afraid, frustrated, confused and wondering. I leave soon and the people who I want to be with more than anyone are absent. This sucks.

This is the real thing.

You are truly my BFF. 

As lame as that expression may be, we're it. 

I can hardly believe how quickly we went from  not knowing each other to where we are right now, sadly I leave soon but I hope our friendship only gets stronger. 

Blogging Syndrome

I love to blog, I like knowing that people are reading are reading what I am thinking without me knowing who they are and when they are discovering these things about me. This blog is secret, so if you are reading it and do not know me, consider yourself lucky, you get to glimpse into the complex mind of T----- H--- and that excited me, if you are reading and I do know you, your lucky too, because only 5 people I know know about this blog and if you know the address, I value our friendship and consider you trusting enough to share my thought with you without a fear of ridicule. If something you read makes you think, please leave me comments or talk to me about it in person, I would love that. I probably will give you an answer.

A B C'yah!

Embracing Faces

Why is kissing in North America taboo? Unless amongst lovers. So many of my friends kiss one another...nothing sexual...nothing long...but what we like to call "mom kisses". I love the idea of it. It is frowned upon, for males in particular, to give friendly "pecks". I do not know how it began amongst my friends, but after having kissed almost all of them, I stopped caring. We are so in love with one another, in the same way that you love your family. I kiss my parents and grandparents, so why not kiss my friends. It may be strange to many people, but so are a lot of other things we do, so I don't think I care. And if it bothers anyone, they should just look to the countless other cultures in the world who use kisses like we do handshakes. For goodness sakes, even Jesus is recorded as having kissed his male friends as a welcome or goodbye. I hope we never stop, it's tradition we have created which I want to last forever. How wonderful to have people that when you need it most will let you cuddle them, hug them, kiss them, and sometimes when we get hyper--bite them. It is comforting to have people in your life who you can be 100% comfortable with, while knowing everyone is aware of appropriate boundaries.

I love you guys.

A Fashion First

I am greatly looking forward to an upcoming day of great fashion, wonderful finds and excellent company. Shopping is one of my many favourite things to do and when I get to do it with friends who feel the same way, it doubles the enjoyment. I hope to come home with some really amazing clothes and memories. My clothes are souvenirs of the day or place I bought them. Everytime I wear them, I remember the day I first laid eye's on it.

Summer fashion.

Think colours. Think solids. Think layers. Think patterns, (well think about patterns carefully.  actually). Think light scarves. Think vests. Think sunglasses, (think about making a statement with them, not about blocking UVA and UVB's). Think fun. Think fresh. Think cuts offs, (try cutting of a pair of skinny jeans just above the knew and letting it fray). Think a lot about shoes, (without sock of goodness sakes! And only think about sandals a little bit). 

Think fashion.

Be happy. 

Fiasco Tranny Strike again.

Last night was the biggest fiasco yet. I was out with a friend and I had my Apple Laptop in my car so that we could listen to music, when he went home I swung by another friends house to say hello. When I came out to my car again after just a short time, I realized the laptop was missing. 

I felt sick, how can somebody do that to me. Forgetting the lost $2000, I would loose all my music, all my photo's, all video projects and all my other documents. I literally thought I was going to throw up. 

We called the police who were polite but less than hopeful. I waited for what seemed like forever for them to arrive, eating chocolate after chocolate in hopes of easing "the pain". In reality it took about 20 minutes for them to get there, which is still too long. But there is more to the story in between. After we called, I prayed to God that it would be returned, that the thieves would have remorse, that the police would find them....anything. I knew it was only monetary, but I hoped God would still care and praying was all I could do. 

It turns out I was lucky that police took so long to get there, because while I sat waiting for them, I saw a male and female slowly approach my car, I watched them through the window of  the house, and when he looked in my car, I worried, called to my friends parents who went outside as the two suspects ran. My friends father chased them down the street shouting at them to return the computer. The man was fast, but the woman of less than five feet could not keep up.  "Father" (as I will call him from now on) hid in the dark of the trees they had run into and he listened to the rustling of feet. Shouting "Are you going to come out, or will I have to come in after you!", "Father", waited patiently. Suddenly the stout woman jumped out crying "It wasn't me", "father" lunged and grabbed her by the arm pulling her back towards his house. She did not struggle, but was not happy to be caught. as they got into the light , I saw she was about 40. "mother", (my friends mom), ran towards her shouting in her elementary school teachers voice, "SHAME ON YOU! What are you thinking, who does that? You are childish and disgusting, SHAME ON YOU!". "Mother" was on the phone with the cops again, who had not arrived. As we held the woman in custody. The police on the phone asked us to describe her and "mother" did a fantastic job, we looked at her, asked her her name, age (46, honestly), accomplices name and his age, their address, jobs and she spilled it all. She felt so bad and kept saying how she had not wanted to do it, but her husband thought they could get away. I calmly asked her why, and she could not really answer. All she said was how sorry she was and how bad she felt I would loose all my important documents. It made me want to cry seeing her, this grown woman, caught in a random act and so disgusted at herself. I wanted to hug her and she held back tears, but decided not to. The cops came and took her away, she told them the laptop was back at their house and she would lead them to the apartment. The cops arrived later without having found the computer of her husband to take statements, as this was finishing up, we all heard on the cops radio "We have found the man and the computer is safe", The cops left and returned minutes later with the laptop in hand and unharmed.

I was so happy...relieved, and thankful . So many things went perfectly. If they had not come back to look for more I would never know who took it. If the cops had come right away after the first call, when the thieves did return they would have ran away before anyone saw them. If  my friends father had been asleep, as it was 1:00 am, he would never have caught them. So many things went right for me and I am so thankful for it all. 

I hope those two "adults" have learned their lesson. 

Healthy vs. Trendy

1000 mile. Vegan. Atkins. The Hamptons. Okinawa Program. Vegetarian. Fat Free. South Beach. Liquid Flush. Raw Food Only.

Don't get me wrong...I love trends, take one look in my closet and you'll know. But what is it about diets that are so trendy? But we all seem to be doing it all so wrong, when the answer is just so simple. We only have one body and we need to do all we can to take care of it, and sometimes the one's who do seem to care are more interested in what is the most trendiest way of eating and not the healthiest. The answer is this simple: A Well Balanced Diet. That is it, the problem with most diets is that they take one potential "body destroyer" and cut it out 100% from the dieters life. Whether that be carbohydrates, fat, meat, sugar, foreign food or root vegetables. People seem to think that if they just remove the one thing, they will rejuvenate their body and become healthy. The scary part of this is, that often the diet may make you smaller in size for a while, but it is not actually making you healthier or ridding your self of the more harmful internal fat.

In reality if the food is something that is natural to this earth, a reasonable amount of it will not harm you. If you want to try to be a heathy person there are so many more harmful things that should be removed from your diet than the list of things the trendy diets tell us we should avoid. Before cutting out nature's grocery store try some of the garbage man has made for us to eat: processed foods (like soy products, spreads, bleached flours and sugars), ground meats (hamburgers), cured meat (bacon and sausage), pickled vegetables, instant meals, TV dinners, powdered mixes and preserved food are the ones to avoid or cut out. What made people think that natural foods like grain, fruits, dairy, meat and natural sugar would harm your body? The key is moderation because it is true that too much of these natural foods will harm you, some more others obviously, like too much red meat no matter how fresh is bad for the brain, but a small amount now and then, like 2-5 servings a month will give your body benefits it can't find anywhere else. Even too much a certain vegetable will overload you body, but cutting something natural from your diet shocks your body. Yes it is true that when cutting something from your diet you could ingest supplements, but can a man-made substance ever win-out against mother nature. For example dairy is so much more than calcium, meat is so much more than protein, grain is so much more than carbohydrates and vegetables are so much more than vitamins, that is why we need a good balance so out body can gather everything it needs. The body was created with a lot of thought and it our responsibility to take care of it.

No doubt in North America, we eat way too much of certain things. Meat for example, 2-3 servings a day? That is a joke right? Minimizing you meat intake and trying out other form of natures protein allows your body some variety. Try seafood, wild poultry, lentils, nuts, broccoli, seeds and eggs. The average body needs only 45 grams of protein a day. When beef and pork are you sole sources of protein, you ingest some good stuff, but also a lot of bad stuff, like growth hormones.

The same goes for grains. Our body uses the simple and natural sugars in carbs to provide us with energy, which we obviously need, but we should still be careful. North Americans eat way to much wheat (and mostly bleached wheat at that). No wonder there are so many people allergic to wheat now. There are so many other types of grains out there and your body would enjoy a balance of them now and then.

Vegetables too, what did you have this week, let me guess...carrot, celery, tomato, potato and onion. While all good for you, not all vegetables are created equal and your body needs balance of as many as you can get, generally the more vibrant the colour the better they will be for you, but don't "cut-out" the other kinds, they have stuff no other type of vegetable has.

Basically all you need is common sense when choosing what to eat. Balance your self and use moderation instead of removing certain items you think might be bad for you, while you continue to much on factory made foods you know are bad for you. Most importantly, enjoy what you eat and don't obsess over it, beating yourself about making a mistake now and then will only cause stress which is one of the worst things for you body, but thats a whole another blog entry.

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Good turned bad.

I just had a really nice night with a good friend, and it ended up being ruined by the venomous words of another friend. I can not let this bother me. One mediocre friend will not ruin the friendship I have with a better friend. That would be ridiculous. 

Meddlers.

Why do people get so much enjoyment meddling in other peoples business. If has nothing to do with you and will never affect you, let it be. This is my business, stop trying to make something out of nothing. 

Ugh...I feel sick. 

Late night scandals.

So this is how it is. I was hanging out with a good friend of mine last night and it was nearing 11:00 p.m. and we needed something fun to do. We had often talked about late night swims and last night was the night to do it. We got some towels and went down to the water...wait! What water? This is the second best part of the story (the best part will come later), did we go to a lake? No. We went to the man made rectangular "pond" in the new adult community. The small lake is surrounded on all sides by houses and there are benches that line the path around the water. We go down to the darkest part of the pond and apprehensively undress. I have never been so close to being nude in the middle of the residential area! We slowly walked in, up to our necks, as our feet sank in the slime below. Success! It was short but it was great! So crazy it made me laugh for hours, we had wanted to do it for weeks and now we had.

So what was the best part of it all? When we got out, instead of wearing wet underwear under our clothes, we pulled them off and tossed them in the lake.

Radical? I think not.

Why is that anyway who pokes fun or disrespects religious people such as Jews, Muslims or Hindu's are labeled "intolerant" or "racist", when everyone is more than welcome to disregard Christianity and make as much fun of it as much as they want? I thought we lived in an equal opportunity world? If someone who is a Christian is trying to share their religion or express there beliefs, they are often accused of pushing their views on others, when most often this is not the case. I will be the first to admit that a lot of wrong is done in the name of God, and Christians make mistakes all the time about how they interact with the world, which is very unfortunate. We are taught not to judge anyone and to love everyone, even the people who sin, because we all sin. It is not up to us to condemn those who do wrong, and too many Christians do that. But despite all this, too many non-Christians disregard the importance of Christ in a Christians life and do want anything to do with it. They say, it is not for me. Well actually if you celebrate Christmas or Easter then you do want something to do with it. No should be forcing their religion on you, but no one should be outrightly disregarding the importance of religion in someone's life. Would you make fun of a Jewish person for asking not to cook with pork around their food, no of course not...so why would someone make fun of Christian for not wanting to have sex or get drunk? They are both apart of the person belief and are both valid. Now I don;t want to sound as if I am attacking non-Christian for what they do, all I ask if that they respect us like they should respect everyone.

Who are you?

I think know who I am...for the most part anyway. I will always find new things about myself, but right now I know as much as I can and am very comfortable with it all. 

I often hear, "I don't care what others think of me" and laugh. Yes you do, we all I do. I certainly do, but more importantly than not caring; I don't change who I am because of what others think of me. 

I would never do something because I felt I had to in order to fit in, I do what I feel good about and can't understand why others would want to be like their peers, but again, more importantly, I would never not do something I liked because everyone else was doing it. Why deny your self a pleasure you enjoy just because it is popular? It makes me sad to see my friends do something only to fit-in or impress other people, and it makes me really sad to see them refuse something they would enjoy, as a protest against conformity. 

Are they really moving forward? 

People just need to be themselves and not worry about what others might say about them behind their back, it makes you a lot happier person. People also need to listen what is being said about them, they might just learn something about themselves they never knew. 

Well look what I just found.

It has been about 19 years, but I finally have one now.