I had been out enjoying the sunshine for about an hour when I saw woman walking up the down the busy street with a sign that read "Homeless and hungry, please help" also nothing uncommon for this city. The downtown is crawling with people asking for money, but as I walked by, seeing her sad face I could hear this "Stop and help" in my head (God? Most likely). "But there are so many people begging, I can't help them all". But I can help some. I know I have a lot, way more than she probably does, but I walked on by anyway, but when I got the corner of the street, I stopped and sat down, I literally could not go on, but parting with my cash was hard as well. Now it is not like I have never given money to the homeless before, but nothing more than a dollar, and today I felt different. I watched her, walk up and the down the block, holding her sign out the on-coming traffic. Being down the street from the American Embassy, next to the most expensive hotel in the city and less than a block away from the federal government buildings, the cars that drove by were, well lets say "expensive", and the drivers were pretty well-off too, most of them tried to act like they did not see this poor woman, but the ones who could not keep there eyes away just shrugged and drove on. No one would help.
I know we saw, "they will just use it for drugs anyway", but do we know that for sure? It is certain some of them do but, but a lot are just genuinely in-need and embarrassed to be asking for help, but they feel hopeless. Was she a drug addict, I really do not think she was, but who I am to judge? All I am here for is to help others, not judge them when they are down.
So I walked up to her and she smiled as we passed, saying nothing, probably knowing I was young and hard on cash myself. This was my second clue she was for real ("the voice" being the first). So I stopped her and asked how she was doing, about to cry at this point she said "not well, I just got kicked out of my apartment and have been living on the street for a few days and have nothing to eat and no where to go". I talked to her for a bit about herself, asked her some questions and then she said shyly "do have any change, I am really hungry?". I smiled and said yes as I pulled my wallet from my bag.
Why is she so embarrassed to ask? If anything I should be embarrassed for thinking about walking by, me with my new clothes, cell phone, iPod and digital camera with me, and her with nothing but the clothes she had on and an empty stomach. No, I am not rich but I can afford to help out.
I handed her a relatively large bill, (or in my eye's the equivalent to an American Apparel deep V shirt), she looked at me before taking it, there was no greed in her. She leaped up to my height and kissed my cheek as she wrapped her arms around me. "Thank you, thank you and God Bless you" she said to me. I wished her well, said I hoped things worked out for her and told her to go get something to eat before giving her another hug and walking away.
As I walked away, I turned my iPod on to random and what song came on? Well this is what I heard, coming from my "Flash-dance" soundtrack.
"All alone I have cried silent tears full of pride"
"I can't have it all"
"What a feeling!"
Yes, what a feeling it was, to be that for someone, it made my day even more than I think it made hers. What a feeling indeed.
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